{"product_id":"cook-the-books-tote-bag-recycled-cotton-funny-pun-gift","title":"Cook the Books Tote Bag – Recycled Cotton, Funny Pun Gift","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"1014\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"868\" data-end=\"895\"\u003eCook the Books Tote Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"895\" data-end=\"898\"\u003e🔪📚 Because sometimes you're sautéing spreadsheets, and other times… well, you’re just carrying groceries and sins.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1016\" data-end=\"1413\" class=\"\"\u003eLet’s not pretend we’re all saints during tax season. Whether you’re an \u003cem data-start=\"1088\" data-end=\"1107\"\u003eactual accountant\u003c\/em\u003e or just someone who’s \u003cem data-start=\"1130\" data-end=\"1172\"\u003edefinitely not claiming that Etsy income\u003c\/em\u003e, this bag was made for you. Featuring a hilarious cartoon book sizzling in a frying pan (yes, literally cooking the books), this tote is perfect for dodging audits and carrying all your creative write-offs. In fiction, of course. Obviously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1415\" data-end=\"1418\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1420\" data-end=\"1472\" class=\"\"\u003e✨ \u003cstrong data-start=\"1426\" data-end=\"1472\"\u003eWhat Makes This Tote So Taxing-ly Perfect?\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1474\" data-end=\"2330\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1474\" data-end=\"1735\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1735\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1476\" data-end=\"1502\"\u003e🧾 Pun-Forward Design:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1502\" data-end=\"1505\"\u003eThe phrase “Cook the Books” paired with a literal illustration of a book frying in a pan? Iconic. This tote serves spicy satire for accountants, writers, pun-lovers, and culinary nerds. It says, “I pay my taxes... creatively.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1737\" data-end=\"2042\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1739\" data-end=\"2042\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1739\" data-end=\"1763\"\u003e🌱 Sustainable Sass:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"1763\" data-end=\"1766\"\u003eMade from \u003cstrong data-start=\"1778\" data-end=\"1802\"\u003e100% recycled cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e, this bag lets you be cheeky \u003cem data-start=\"1832\" data-end=\"1837\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e eco-conscious. Measuring \u003cstrong data-start=\"1863\" data-end=\"1896\"\u003e40 x 38 cm (15.7 x 15 inches)\u003c\/strong\u003e with a \u003cstrong data-start=\"1904\" data-end=\"1918\"\u003e130–135gsm\u003c\/strong\u003e fabric thickness, it’s tough enough for groceries, shady receipts, or student loan paperwork you’re pretending don’t exist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2044\" data-end=\"2330\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2046\" data-end=\"2330\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"2046\" data-end=\"2066\"\u003e👜 Everyday Use:\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003cbr data-start=\"2066\" data-end=\"2069\"\u003eGrocery runs, client meetings, tax appointments you may or may not ghost—this tote is ready to be your sidekick through all your morally gray errands. Works just as well for uni students, teachers, or authors pretending to write when they're really TikToking.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2332\" data-end=\"2335\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2337\" data-end=\"2388\" class=\"\"\u003e🎁 \u003cstrong data-start=\"2344\" data-end=\"2388\"\u003eWho Needs This Bag (Hint: Probably You)?\u003c\/strong\u003e\n\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2704\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2390\" data-end=\"2434\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2392\" data-end=\"2434\" class=\"\"\u003eTax advisors who appreciate a dark joke.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2435\" data-end=\"2490\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2437\" data-end=\"2490\" class=\"\"\u003eFreelancers whose bookkeeping system is just vibes.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2491\" data-end=\"2524\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2493\" data-end=\"2524\" class=\"\"\u003eFoodies with a love for puns.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2525\" data-end=\"2610\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2527\" data-end=\"2610\" class=\"\"\u003eEnglish teachers who drink too much coffee and \u003cem data-start=\"2574\" data-end=\"2580\"\u003eknow\u003c\/em\u003e they’re the main character.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2611\" data-end=\"2704\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2613\" data-end=\"2704\" class=\"\"\u003eYour mate who hasn’t filed a return since 2019 and says things like “HMRC is a scam, babe.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2706\" data-end=\"2920\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is a \u003cstrong data-start=\"2716\" data-end=\"2731\"\u003ekiller gift\u003c\/strong\u003e for birthdays, tax season meltdowns, office Secret Santas, or just for yourself—because self-care sometimes looks like passive-aggressively flaunting financial crimes in cute cartoon form.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2922\" data-end=\"2925\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2927\" data-end=\"2950\" class=\"\"\u003e😇 Let’s Be Honest…\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2952\" data-end=\"3112\" class=\"\"\u003eYou \u003cem data-start=\"2956\" data-end=\"2963\"\u003ecould\u003c\/em\u003e get a plain tote with some flowers on it. Or a motivational quote. But you’re not basic. You’re \u003cem data-start=\"3060\" data-end=\"3082\"\u003eunhinged and over it\u003c\/em\u003e, and this tote? It gets you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3114\" data-end=\"3262\" class=\"\"\u003eThis is not just a bag. It’s an energy. It’s knowing you’ve got 87 tabs open, none of them are spreadsheets, and you’re still charging “admin time.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3264\" data-end=\"3267\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3269\" data-end=\"3294\" class=\"\"\u003e✅ Why You’ll Love It:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3651\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3296\" data-end=\"3348\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3298\" data-end=\"3348\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3298\" data-end=\"3322\"\u003e100% Recycled Cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e – lightweight but tough\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3349\" data-end=\"3416\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3351\" data-end=\"3416\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3351\" data-end=\"3371\"\u003eFun \u0026amp; Functional\u003c\/strong\u003e – fits a laptop, books, and a little guilt\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3417\" data-end=\"3489\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3419\" data-end=\"3489\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3419\" data-end=\"3436\"\u003eUnisex Design\u003c\/strong\u003e – for accountants, rebels, and everyone in between\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3490\" data-end=\"3567\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3567\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3492\" data-end=\"3506\"\u003eGift-Ready\u003c\/strong\u003e – especially for that friend who refuses to use QuickBooks\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"3568\" data-end=\"3651\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3570\" data-end=\"3651\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"3570\" data-end=\"3594\"\u003eConversation Starter\u003c\/strong\u003e – people \u003cem data-start=\"3604\" data-end=\"3610\"\u003ewill\u003c\/em\u003e laugh. And probably ask if you’re hiring\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3653\" data-end=\"3656\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3658\" data-end=\"3731\" class=\"\"\u003e🔥 Add it to cart. Write it off later. Just don’t let HMRC see your tote.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3733\" data-end=\"3888\" class=\"\"\u003eNeed more matching products for your rebellious bookkeeping persona? Check out our full sticker + tote bundle deals and other dark-humored gifts at Keolix.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3733\" data-end=\"3888\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e💜\u003cb\u003e About KEOLIX\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eKEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”\u003cbr\u003eWe’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eEverything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add \u003ci\u003ejust enough chaos\u003c\/i\u003e to your day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eWant to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/keolix.com\/collections\/handmade-cards\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ehandmade cards\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNot sure what to get? Check out our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/keolix.com\/collections\/shop-best-sellers\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ebestsellers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e — the people know what’s good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNeed layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/uk.pinterest.com\/BabyKEO444\/\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ehere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e. Go get lost in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eKEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c\/i\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KEOLIX","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56884894859529,"sku":"sku-48760459395395","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/4040\/2697\/files\/Unknown-426.jpg?v=1773511560","url":"https:\/\/instock.net\/products\/cook-the-books-tote-bag-recycled-cotton-funny-pun-gift","provider":"InStock","version":"1.0","type":"link"}