{"product_id":"dont-spreadsheet-tote-bag-funny-excel-office-gift","title":"Don't Spreadsheet Tote Bag – Funny Excel Office Gift","description":"\u003cp data-start=\"839\" data-end=\"895\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"839\" data-end=\"860\"\u003eDon’t Spreadsheet\u003c\/strong\u003e – you’ll only cry in pivot tables. On A tote. \u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"897\" data-end=\"1160\" class=\"\"\u003eThis bag is for the burnt-out analyst, the caffeine-fueled intern, the perfectionist designer, the freelancer who’s one revision away from combusting. It's for the girlboss who’s juggling 32 tabs, 14 deadlines, and an HR request she hasn’t opened since Tuesday.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1162\" data-end=\"1543\" class=\"\"\u003eLet’s be clear: this \u003cstrong data-start=\"1183\" data-end=\"1204\"\u003eDon’t Spreadsheet\u003c\/strong\u003e tote isn’t here to help you stay organized. It’s here to help you survive the madness. With a big middle finger to burnout and a wink to your Google Sheets trauma, this bag says exactly what you’ve been screaming internally on every Zoom call since 2020: \u003cem data-start=\"1460\" data-end=\"1543\"\u003e“Not today, Susan. I’m emotionally bankrupt and this spreadsheet is a war crime.”\u003c\/em\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"1545\" data-end=\"1548\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"1550\" data-end=\"1588\" class=\"\"\u003e😎 Why You Need This Tote In Your Life:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"2113\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1590\" data-end=\"1769\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1592\" data-end=\"1769\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1592\" data-end=\"1615\"\u003eDesign That Gets It\u003c\/strong\u003e – The Excel spreadsheet graphic? Familiar AF. The phrase? Too real. It’s the pun that gets a slow clap from accountants and tears from junior developers.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1770\" data-end=\"1942\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1942\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1772\" data-end=\"1796\"\u003e100% Recycled Cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e – You’re saving the planet \u003cem data-start=\"1824\" data-end=\"1829\"\u003eand\u003c\/em\u003e your mental health. The fabric is sturdy, sustainable, and soft enough to wipe your tears of Excel-induced rage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"1943\" data-end=\"2113\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"2113\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003cstrong data-start=\"1945\" data-end=\"1978\"\u003eLightweight, Roomy, \u0026amp; Durable\u003c\/strong\u003e – Fits your laptop, charger, overpriced oat milk latte, and a notebook filled with brilliant ideas you’ll probably never get to pitch.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2115\" data-end=\"2118\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2120\" data-end=\"2178\" class=\"\"\u003e💡 Use Case Scenarios (Because Keeks Always Delivers):\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2180\" data-end=\"2463\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2180\" data-end=\"2284\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2182\" data-end=\"2284\" class=\"\"\u003eA Tote Slung over your shoulder as you walk into the office on a Monday like a warrior returning from battle.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2285\" data-end=\"2372\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2287\" data-end=\"2372\" class=\"\"\u003eDangling off your arm at Pret, hoping someone else in line reads it and says, “Same.”\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2373\" data-end=\"2463\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2375\" data-end=\"2463\" class=\"\"\u003eHung on the back of your chair as a passive-aggressive hint to your micro-managing boss.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2465\" data-end=\"2468\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2470\" data-end=\"2502\" class=\"\"\u003e🎁 Makes a Perfect Tote For:\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cul data-start=\"2504\" data-end=\"2728\"\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2504\" data-end=\"2581\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2506\" data-end=\"2581\" class=\"\"\u003eThat coworker who says “I’ll just make a spreadsheet” in moments of crisis.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2582\" data-end=\"2658\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2584\" data-end=\"2658\" class=\"\"\u003eThe friend who quit their finance job to become a full-time tattoo artist.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli data-start=\"2659\" data-end=\"2728\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2661\" data-end=\"2728\" class=\"\"\u003eThe sibling who uses VLOOKUP in casual conversation (ew, but okay).\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"2730\" data-end=\"2733\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"2735\" data-end=\"2780\" class=\"\"\u003e🌱 Eco-Friendly + Emotionally Intelligent\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"2782\" data-end=\"3066\" class=\"\"\u003eThe \u003cstrong data-start=\"2786\" data-end=\"2816\"\u003eDon't Spreadsheet Tote Bag\u003c\/strong\u003e is made with \u003cstrong data-start=\"2830\" data-end=\"2854\"\u003e100% recycled cotton\u003c\/strong\u003e Tote (130-135 gsm), which means you’re not contributing to fast fashion landfill horrors while still slaying in the office. It's washable, collapsible, and cute enough to deflect awkward small talk in the break room.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3068\" data-end=\"3216\" class=\"\"\u003eBonus points: it's got \u003cem data-start=\"3091\" data-end=\"3097\"\u003ethat\u003c\/em\u003e vibe. The dry wit. The understated flex. The \"\u003cem data-start=\"3144\" data-end=\"3207\"\u003eI’ve worked 50 hours this week and I’m still funnier than you\u003c\/em\u003e\" energy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3218\" data-end=\"3221\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003ch3 data-start=\"3223\" data-end=\"3274\" class=\"\"\u003e🧠 Bonus Waffle (Unfiltered, From Keeks to You)\u003c\/h3\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3276\" data-end=\"3594\" class=\"\"\u003eThis bag? It’s not just fabric and thread. It’s survival gear for girlies who are fighting the corporate system with sarcasm, spreadsheets, and spreadsheets about their sarcasm. It’s for the rebel who still files their own invoices. The punk with a pension. The Barbie with burnout who still looks bomb at the printer.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3596\" data-end=\"3831\" class=\"\"\u003eThrow it over your shoulder like it’s a mic drop. Let it hang off your office chair like a warning label. Show the world that you may be “Just Formatting Cells” on the outside, but inside? You're planning a spreadsheet-fueled uprising.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003chr data-start=\"3833\" data-end=\"3836\" class=\"\"\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3838\" data-end=\"3923\" class=\"\"\u003e✅ Add to cart.\u003cbr data-start=\"3852\" data-end=\"3855\"\u003e✅ Power up your dry wit.\u003cbr data-start=\"3879\" data-end=\"3882\"\u003e✅ Send one to your manager anonymously.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3925\" data-end=\"3963\" class=\"\"\u003eYou \u003cem data-start=\"3929\" data-end=\"3937\"\u003eearned\u003c\/em\u003e this energy, boss babe.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp data-start=\"3925\" data-end=\"3963\" class=\"\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e💜\u003cb\u003e About KEOLIX\u003c\/b\u003e\u003cb\u003e\u003c\/b\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eKEOLIX is not for the passive, the plain, or the “meh.”\u003cbr\u003eWe’re the brand your neutral tote bag warned you about.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eEverything here is handmade, in-house, and intentionally bold. From rude birthday cards to weirdly loveable stickers and statement prints, KEOLIX designs are built to spark joy, start drama, or add \u003ci\u003ejust enough chaos\u003c\/i\u003e to your day.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eWant to make your order giftable? Pair it with one of our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/keolix.com\/collections\/handmade-cards\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ehandmade cards\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e — we’ve got sweet, sassy, and straight-up savage.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNot sure what to get? Check out our \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/keolix.com\/collections\/shop-best-sellers\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ebestsellers\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e — the people know what’s good.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eNeed layout inspiration or want to see what people are doing with their KEOLIX hauls? We’re always building aesthetic combos and real-life styling ideas \u003ca href=\"https:\/\/uk.pinterest.com\/BabyKEO444\/\"\u003e\u003cspan class=\"s1\"\u003ehere\u003c\/span\u003e\u003c\/a\u003e. Go get lost in it.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003eKEOLIX isn’t just a shop. It’s a vibe. And you’re in it now.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p1\"\u003e✨ At KEOLIX, we believe small things can spark big smiles. Every product we create is made with heart, humor, and a touch of rebellion. Whether you're collecting pins, gifting cards, or brightening your space with prints, you're supporting a brand that values creativity, quality, and meaning. Our designs are more than accessories — they're conversation starters, confidence boosters, and love notes in disguise. Thanks for shopping small and choosing bold. Want more? Browse our latest drops, join our loyalty club, or follow along on social for sneak peeks and giveaways. Stay bold, stay kind, and keep collecting what makes you feel like \u003ci\u003eyou\u003c\/i\u003e.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp class=\"p2\"\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"KEOLIX","offers":[{"title":"Default Title","offer_id":56884876837129,"sku":"sku-48331873419587","price":10.99,"currency_code":"GBP","in_stock":false}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0834\/4040\/2697\/files\/Unknown-200.jpg?v=1773511483","url":"https:\/\/instock.net\/products\/dont-spreadsheet-tote-bag-funny-excel-office-gift","provider":"InStock","version":"1.0","type":"link"}